A Christmas Poker Party

Well the Christmas buzz is all around us and I thought today I’d bust out some Christmas stuff on this blog of mine which is brought to you by the bonus code 20BR at Party Poker. So if you are planning on having a Christmas poker party fire up the bonus code.

Here is a different variation of the Night Before Christmas. Its called:

The Night Before Christmas West Side Style:

'Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood, Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good.
The tube socks was hung on the window sill and we all had smiles up on our grill.
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib in the back bedroom, cuz that's how we live.
And Moms in her do-rag and me with my nine, had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine.

All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by, Bumpin' phat beats cuz the system's fly.
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas' 'Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's ass!
well anyway....

I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this! She said, Stop frontin' & just mind yo' bidness.
I said, for real doe, come check dis out.

We weren't even buggin', no worries, no doubt. Cuz bumpin' an thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh.

Da beats was kickin', da ride was phat I said, "Yo red Dawg, you all that!"
He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz, "Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!"
To the top of the projects & across the strip mall, We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"

He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof, and sippin' on a 40, he busted a move.

I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!" he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!
But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz
I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."
Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.
He slid down the fire exscape smoove as a cat, and busted the window wit' a b-ball bat.

I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"
he said,"You best get on up out my face!"
His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold,
His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old.

He dropped down the duffle, Bulls logo on the side.
Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide.
A wink of his eye and a shine off his gold toof,
He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof
He jumped in his hooptie wit' rims made of chrome,
To tap that big booty waitin' at home.

And all I heard as he cruised outta sight, was a loud and hearty.....
"WEEESST SIIIIDE!!!!!!!"



"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night"



"Rudolph loves the Blaze"




On Santa's long travels delivering mad presents to all those across the world he at times is looking to make some moves on those fine ladies across the globe. Here are some of the lines that he likes to bust out at times.

Santa's Pick-Up Lines


* I put the 'scroo' in Scrooge.

* I've got something you can hang a wreath on.

* One hour with me, honey, and you'll be seeing flyin' reindeer!

* Ho-Ho-How'd you like to shake like a bowl of jelly?

* That's No candy cane in my pocket, and I am glad to see you.

* Sugar, I got your stocking stuffer right here, Baby!

* I see you when you're sleeping and you don't wear any underwear,
do you?

* Giddy-up over here and say 'howdy' to your fat, bearded cowboy
of love!

* Care to see my twelve inch elf?

* Hey Babe, when was the last time you had a really good sleigh?

* I've got something special in the sack just for you!

* I know when you've been bad or good so let's skip the small
talk, sister!

* Some of my favorite toys run on batteries....

* Forget the 'Nice' list, cuz I'm putting your name top of my
'nice and naughty girl list'.

* Wanna see the 'North Pole'? (that's what Mrs. Claus calls it!)

* Wanna join the "Mile High" club?

~~

Check out this story about some so called evil Santa Claus' causing disturbances this past week. Apparently they were in the Christmas spirit.

"About 40 drunk men wearing Santa Claus costumes rampaged through Auckland this morning in protest of Christmas commercialism. They began by urinating on passing cars from a motorway bridge and later kicked litter bins in public parks and sprayed graffiti on buildings. They also decided to bring some of their Christmas “cheer” to a casino.

The group of “evil Santas” arrived at the Sky City Casino, where they vandalized the giant Christmas tree in the casino's entrance hall. Once they became bored, they moved on to stealing beer from a local convenience store and decided to spread the holiday spirit at a cruise ship. The Santas attacked the port's security guards after the ship's captain demanded that one of them, who had climbed the mooring line, climbed back down. The guards were treated for cuts from broken beer bottles.

Three Santas were arrested, and one of them has been identified as the Santa who climbed the ship. Police declared that identifying the other Santas will likely prove difficult because they all wore the same suits and beards."

Well everybody have a happy and safe holiday!

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The Kid's Tuesday Ramblings

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The Raptors Win! The Raptors Win! Thank Christ! They finally were able to pick up their fifth win of the season last night and it was an impressive win since they came off that embarrassing loss to Philadelphia on Sunday (for those that don’t know they lost by 27 points). I am a huge fan of the Raptors even if they do suck for now but I’m not a guy that’s gonna hate them when they lose and love em when they win. I’ve got there backs through the thick and thin. It will be that much more rewarding when they get back to being a pretty good basketball team. I’m hoping that will happen sooner rather than later. Vince Carter is still a little bitch and he’s proving it in the swamp of New Jersey. Lots of talent, he’s a pussy with no heart!

“King of Vegas” another new reality television show that is getting set to air on Spike TV starting in January of 2006. This show will feature 12 contestants. The selected players are a mix of unknown amateurs and professional gamblers which includes both poker players and blackjack tournament experts. The basis of the show is having these twelve players competing for a winner-take-all $1 million prize. This show is not strictly based on poker skills as the games involved in this series is going to be: Craps, BlackJack, Roulette, Baccarat, Caribbean Stud Poker, Pai Gow Poker and Red Dog (which is a variation of acey-deucey). The grand finale will consist of a short-handed Texas hold 'em mini-tournament. So you can add this program to the growing list of gambling shows on television. I still can’t believe how popular this stuff really is and every major network has their own spin of a gambling show on their airwaves. Obviously this fad is not slowing down anytime soon.

What do you think of the new Saugeen Stripper Apparel? Since she is quickly becoming a well known celebrity across the internet and around the campus of University of Western I thought I’d bring you some gear that you could fire up and start up the Saugeen Stripper Posse. It still blows me away that this girl is all over the place and her poor parents. I am a contributor to her new found fame whether it is good or bad fame for her but I’m just supplying my fans and supporters the latest and greatest LOL.

~~

Where is the best place for a poker party? Do you prefer online poker, home games, cash games at casinos, or tournaments? I know where my allegiance is and that’s online poker followed closely by home games. Now I have only played in a few live poker tournaments and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I feel that is the best form of poker going today. If I had a large enough bankroll to do it, I would definitely play in a lot of live poker tournaments. To me playing online poker is tremendous because I get to play a lot of hands in a relatively short time. The only problem I find with online poker is there are a ton of fish out there. There are so many guys that will just call whatever and they don’t give a shit and they get lucky. That’s not fucking poker if you ask me. The other problem is you can’t really intimidate players online the same way you can in live games. I like to look people in the eyes and see if I can’t get some information out of them. Online poker limits my ability to do read people but you can do some serious bullying especially when you have mad chips. I am looking to get into playing more poker tournaments and unfortunately there are not that many tournaments offered in our area. My friends and I have made numerous calls to our local casinos to get them to have poker tournaments. But, I’m assuming with all the money they make off cash games they don’t want to tie up there poker room. There has to be a time when there are down times in the poker room and they should at least give it a shot. I’d love to take my poker party down to the casino and play some no limit texas holdem tournaments. This is when I wished I lived in Las Vegas. The only trouble with that would be I would have absolutely no liver left by the time I hit goddamn thirty and the scary part of that is I turn thirty in almost nine goddamn months.

Turning thirty! Holy shit this scares me. I remember not too long ago being at the University of Maryland and turning twenty-one and how much I loved it. Although I had my fake ID to get into the clubs it still felt pretty sweet to flash the real one off. Now I'm almost thirty years old. Where the hell does time go. I do know that these last couple of years and this year especially has been hands down the best year of my life. I have had so many opportunities to do the coolest shit and the best part about it is I've done it with my closest buddies. This is a shout going out to the 207 Crew! Thanks boys for making this one of the best years of the Kid's life. A little sentimental stuff going out but if everyone could have buddies like mine and i'm talking about my whole crew here (not just the 207 crew) this world would be a better place. I've got three words for the crew: YOU FUCKING ROCK!!

The Kid has left the building!

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Monday's Poker Party

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Now that the weekend is over its back to the grind at work and get ready for good old Christmas. I’m the worst I still have so much shit to buy for Christmas and I keep on putting it off. I know once I finally get in the mood to go shop there is going to be nothing left and there will be about a million people in the store. Every year I go through this and I say to myself I’m not going to do this next year. I never learn! It is so crazy though going Christmas shopping all of a sudden people are goddamn maniacs in the malls, the parking lots are filled with crazy people, and the roads are so rammed. Its pretty funny watching how mad people get when they are trying to find parking spaces. People will literally start fights because someone may have grabbed your parking spot. It pisses me off as well but I’m not going to get outta my car and lay a beat down on someone because of it. I mean it’s not like someone spilled my beer. Then there would be problems LOL. Mmmmm…. Beer.

What is the hottest gift for Christmas going to be this year? I’m assuming the new Ipod’s are going to be on fire. I wonder how many people are going to open up their Christmas gifts and see you have received two hundred dollars into your party poker account. Wouldn’t that be a solid gift! So if you are struggling for ideas why not throw some cash together and put the money towards someone’s poker account (and give them the bonus code 20BR for party poker and they can get some extra cash and get ready for a poker party). I played a little bit of online poker this weekend but it sure as hell wasn’t anything to write home about. I played in a couple of big tournaments on Friday night at party poker and both times I finished out of the money. I had two big hands that I lost on the river that absolutely crumbled my chip stack and sent me home real early. I was getting real frustrated with some of the players at the table as it seemed they would call anything and then they’d hit. Two times I had a high pair and one time a guy called my big raise with 10 6 offsuit, and he ends up winning with a set of sixes. I was pretty pissed especially because if I win that hand I am in great shape for the rest of the tournament. Goddamn Fish! Seriously though these guys piss me off so much cause you know that they are just so bloody lucky and have no skills whatsoever, they just call anything and hope they hit.

The Indianapolis Colts run at an undefeated season came to an abrupt end yesterday as they lost to the SuperChargers of San Diego. This was an awesome run for this team and now they can rest some of there starters and get ready for the second season. They are obviously the team to look out for in the playoffs. This loss will only make them a better football team as they now realize that they are beatable. On a sidenote here the Detroit Lions who are my favorite football team are in shambles right now. Matt Millen is an absolute joke and this team needs to change the face of the franchise. Millen has got to go as he has not been able to turn the corner with this franchise and it is not only disturbing to me but all of Detroit is in an uproar. They have drafted three wide receivers with their number one pick for the last three years and they still have no quarterback. Joey Harrington is an absolute embarrassment for being the third pick overall. I know that he has talent but he is flat out brutal for the lions. He is not a franchise quarterback and he needs to beat it. The Lions have to do whatever they can to bring in a franchise quarterback to run this offense. The other question that will need to be answered is whether or not Dick Jauron is the man to run this team for the next couple of years. My guess is he will be gone along with Matt Millen. I think this is what has to happen I’m just scared as a fan as to what is going to take place in the next few years. There is some talent on this roster and they need to find a general to take charge and lead this team. Go Lions! Fire Millen!

Check out this Poker Party



Now wouldn't you like to be at this poker party. I got real scared when I saw this pic for the first time. Its definitely not like the Saugeen Stripper, she should be the fourth member of this poker party.

New Saugeen Stripper Pics

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***CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PREVIOUS SAUGEEN STRIPPER PICS***

OR

***SCROLL DOWN TO SEE THE LATEST SAUGEEN STRIPPER PICS***


Alright well with all this talk of the Saugeen Stripper its gotten me to thinking what people really do for money. I mean people will do anything for money and it is apparent from these photos taken from the University of Western that fifty bucks does go a long way. Well not really but the dudes in the pictures sure as hell thought it went a long way. All they had to do was come up with fifty bucks and all of a sudden they had a show they will never forget. Could you imagine how proud the Saugeen Stripper's dad is of her. I mean he could be at work or something and guys are talking about this young girl that was caught stripping so he decides to check it out and then he sees its his daughter. What would your reaction be? I would absolutely lose it as I'm sure most of you would. I just couldn't imagine if her parents saw these pictures what there reactions would be to this. Either way the dudes in Saugeen absolutely loved the show!


Alright so last night we went down to Toronto for the night and and an interesting situation occurred on the way back to the hotel. We hear this girl on the street frantically crying and screaming and we see a guy laying down on his back on the sidewalk. Our initial reaction was that the guy got shot or something. Well thank goodness that wasn't the case but what it was was that this guy had just decided he was real tired and it was time for bed. At what point do you just decide you know what, fuck it! I'm just gonna crash here for the night. So he completely leaves his girlfriend to fend for herself as he proceeds to sleep on the sidewalk and the best part was that this dude was snoring. You have got to be kidding me! First off deciding to crash on the street is bad enough and then you bust out snoring. Now that's embarrassing. It was pretty funny though and we had some good laughs. We were actually on our way trying to find an underground Poker Party but we came up a little short on our attempts. This weekend I did not play that much online poker but I will fire up party poker tonight and see if I can take care of business at the poker tables.

Newest Saugeen Stripper Pics







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World Challenge Cup Poker Tournament

The latest big poker tournament that is going to be coming to television real soon was filmed yesterday at the Palms in Las Vegas. The World Challenge Cup is a tournament that puts the U.S. vs. The Rest of the World in a poker tournament. This is a great event and will be a fun one to watch. There are a ton of big time players in this event. Jesus Ferguson is the captain of the American squad and good ol Tony G is the captain of the World team. The format for the event is if an American player knocks out a member of the rest of the world team they get one point and vice versa. If someone knocks out a member of their own team they will receive zero points. The team with the most accumulated points will win the competition.

Here is a list of some of the players representing the American squad:

Chris Ferguson (captain), Paul Phillips, Tj Cloutier, John Juanda, Allen Cunningham, Michael 'Grinder' Mizrachi, Evelyn Ng, Layne Flack, Mike Matusow, Amir Vahedi, Kristy Gazes, Phil Ivey, Phil Gordon, Andy Bloch, Clonie Gowen, Scott Fischman, Erik Seidel, Paul Darden, Jennifer Harman, Huck Seed and Erick Lindgren.

Here are some members of the World Team:

Tony G (captain), Gavin Smith, Surinder Sunar, Paddy Parkinson, Marcel Luske, Hiroshi Shimimura, Mel Judah, Noah Boeken, Carl Olsson, Daniel Negreanu, Erik Sagstrom, Gen Watanabe, Haralabos Voulgaris, Ram Vaswani, Joe Beevers, Harry Demetriou, Carlos & Cece Mortenson, David Benyamine, and many others.

This tournament is sponsored by Full Tilt Poker and they sent ten online poker qualifiers to compete for a designated team as well. It should be a fascinating event and it will be broadcasted on Fox Sports Net fairly soon (no official date has been set for the airing as of yet).

I am pretty pumped for this event as it is the first of its kind in the poker world. I am all about team competitions as I think there is a lot more at stake when you are playing for others and not just yourself. It's kind of like the Ryder Cup, you just don't want to let your teammates down. When this hits the airwaves i'll be looking forward to throwing a Poker Party.

Saugeen Stripper Pictures

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This story came out today in the Toronto Star that a couple of guys were sitting around in their door room and they wanted to order a stripper but unfortunately they couldn't come up with enough money to get the job done. So they pooled $50 bucks together and they went walking through their dorm at Western University. The dorm was called Saugeen and it is known to be a crazy dorm. Anyways, they went up to all kinds of different girls and they were offering $50 to any girl that would show up to their room and strip. Well they had a few nibbles and eventually they caught their fish and she will be forever referred to now as the Saugeen Stripper.

This girl obviously didn't care too much and she gave the boys a show!

Here are the pics:








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Its Time For A Poker Party

I’ve been trying to think of different ideas and concepts for a Poker Party instead of the usual home game. I’m talking about a mad drinking game. What about every time somebody gets busted out of the game they have to pound a specified drink and in order to re-buy you have put back two more drinks plus your re-buy amount. Another game that we tried a couple of months ago was for every chip you put into the pot was equivalent to one drink (not a full drink but one big swig), so whoever loses their chips has to swig that many drinks from their drink. Guys will get so gunned and you will love it. It’s a perfect time to give it a shot now that the holidays are approaching. Even bring this up at your Christmas parties. Wouldn’t it be solid to get your boss all shit faced playing poker and then you talk mad trash to him/her. Just an idea if you want to change the pace to your poker games.

Has anyone noticed that the competition for online poker players between sites just continues to gain momentum each and every day? Every online poker site offers bonuses of some kind, unbelievable prize giveaways on a weekly/monthly basis, and guaranteed money tourneys that will blow you away. I keep wondering what is going to be the next big thing. I mean party poker has given away a Ferrari, now they have the jet promotion and are giving away 4 Mercedes, what’s next? I guess when you are profiting $2.7 million dollars a day you can offer such tremendous giveaways. It is such a great way to entice players to not only sign up at their site but to stay there, and by the looks of it, its definitely working. This month Ultimate Bet had the new $1 million dollar free roll which was only open to all new sign ups, and this is another solid way to get players to visit your site. Even if they come strictly for that one event there is a pretty good chance they will come back.

I really want to know what’s next. I’m surprised know one has introduced a promotion that had the winning prize being “build your dream home”. Imagine playing in a tournament that could win you your dream home. You would get X amount of dollars to put towards it, and you could sit down with the developers and customize your very own house (take note that the kid came up with this promotion on December 15th, 2005 so if somebody grabs it the kid gets some cake for his idea lol). Or how about you get an island for a week with your buddies? A secluded island set up with all the necessities you would need for the week and the island is all yours. So nectar that would be! Imagine how much you would love that poker party. I’d love to hear some other ideas and you could leave it in the comments section if ya got some good ones to discuss. Lets have some fun with this!
~~

Have you seen or heard of the Grand Canyon Sky Walk. Jesus H. Christ this thing absolutely blew me away. This sky walk is the new attraction at the Canyon and it is a walkway with a glass bottom and sides, it is constructed out of a million pounds of steel. Yeah that’s right a million goddamn pounds of steel! The sky walk is attached to the side of the canyon and will hover 4,000 feet above the Colorado River. Like seriously what an absolute stunning development this is but at this point in time I will not be caught dead walking on that thing. Great idea it’s just not my cup of tea. I absolutely hate heights and this thing would freakin annihilate my insides. In Toronto, we have the CN Tower and that thing is bad enough but at least we are inside or whatever, but this thing is like dangling over a cliff. Holy Shit! So if you go there and check it out, enjoy yourselves and let me know how it was. I’d rather hear about it than actually walk on it. Another fact about this sky walk is that it is supposed to hold over 70 million pounds and it can withstand an earthquake of 8.0 on the ricter scale from 50 miles away. So it sounds safe (I hope) and all that, but you still won’t find the kid going for a stroll on this thing. By the way, it is supposed to open in early 2006. Enjoy the scenery!


Here is a design pic of the Grand Canyon Sky Walk


Yesterday I was walking through the mall at lunch hour and I see this little kid stuffing her facia with a candy bar and a coke. Now keep in mind this kid is like four maybe five years old. The kid might have been the fattest kid I have seen in a long time. When i say fat I mean real fat! Seriously what is wrong with parents these days. Obviously they can notice that there kid is fat and yet they still proceed to feed their kid this crap. I’m not saying they can’t have a treat but Jesus look after your kid. No wonder why there are so many out of shape kids and young people that have heart problems, all they eat is crap and they don’t exercise. Get your goddamn kids doing some activities other than eating and playing video games! Get some balls and start to enforce some shit on your kids. I can't believe how different stuff is now compared to when I was a little fart runnin around. If they aren’t athletically gifted who cares just get them out doing something to keep them active. If you don’t, you could be seeing your kid on 60 minutes as the next half ton man/woman just laying in bed all day without the ability to move. I'm sure some people would still feed them candy bars and coke. Haven't you done enough already. Get a grip!

The kid is out!

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Whartz up Wednesday's

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”
- Britney Spears

I came across this quote and I thought my fellow Canadians would like to know that apparently we live overseas. Are you kidding me! It never ceases to amaze me some of the things I hear about our country. It doesn’t get me mad it just makes me wonder what the hell some of these people learn or how dumb people can really be. Wouldn’t you think that someone like this that is constantly in the public eye would realize that she should be coached or at the very least read up on places where she is going so she doesn’t sound so ignorant. Seriously, for someone in her position that's pretty bad.

I love everything about being Canadian and I do take some offense when people diss our country or say completely ignorant things about us. The best is when someone who has never been to our great country has shit to say about it. Ya know what come check it out, I'll guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised. If you don't like it then you can say shit, but until then shut it. Us Canadian dudes love three things: Hockey, beer, and our Canadian Women. Now can you dig that!

In the news today Mr. George W. Bush finally admits he made a goddamn mistake by going into Iraq. You know what it’s about freakin time. I still don’t know if it was faulty intelligence or if he had a personal agenda and used his forum to take care of business. I know America is right down the middle on this guy but this was one of the biggest blunders I have seen in a long time. Seriously, if you are going to declare war on a country should you not be 110% sure that you are doing the right thing. Sure some good things came out of it, but you could have captured Saddam without blowing up the whole goddamn country. At what point do you say fuck it lets go blow that country up I THINK they might have some weapons of mass destruction. A little rant on Bush as this guy drives me up the goddamn wall. He does make for some good comedy though just like his predecessor Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton.

~~

I am going to change some things up a bit this week on Whartz up Wednesday’s and instead of putting up hilarious videos I have put together some hilarious prank call audio clips for you to get a pretty good laugh at.

Hilarious Audio Clips (hit the play button to listen):

Caller thinks he wins a hundred grand



Howard Stern Prank Calls



Trying to sell magazines



Don't you just love prank calls! I love listening to people when they get all fired up from telemarketers and things. I know how annoying it is to have these people call your house right at dinner hour but I definitely get a kick out of listening to other people get all pissed off!

Whartz up Wednesdays has been brought to you by bonus code 20BR on party poker. So the next time you are going to throw a Poker Party drop in the code.

Some Ramblings

So yesterday I mentioned that MansionPoker announced a huge tournament with Fox Sports Net and now word has it that the two have come to an agreement on a three year deal. Get this, in 2008 the players are going to be playing for a purse of $100 million dollars. Are you kidding me? To all those that said poker was on the decline you had better check yourself at the door and get ready for another poker party increase. This is absolutely huge news for the poker world. The first player announced to play in the event is none other than Phil Ivey. He is the hottest player in poker right now and you can bet he is going to be working harder than ever to get ready for the first event (which takes place in July). This absolutely blows me away that there is this much money on the table for a six man tournament. I mean Christ put in four more players and make it the single greatest sit n go known to man. Could you imagine logging onto Party Poker and signing up for a sit n go worth this kind of cake. Simply Amazing!

I read this article and wrote about it here last week on poker robots and how they are being used all over the online poker world. This has really made me pay more attention to my surroundings when I play online. Last night I was playing on party poker and this player was at my table and he was driving me nuts. So many hands he would sit there and ponder his decision. He seemed to always be winning the hands he entered. Also, everytime the clock would appear it would run down the time to the exact same second. It was always with twelve seconds left. This was driving me crazy and I really began focusing on it. I would even try to start conversations and to no avail, I was getting absolutely no responses from him/her/robot whatever the fuck this person was. I never would have noticed this kind of behavior if it wasn’t for the bloody article I read. This really pisses me off!

~~

Random tidbits:

Coca Cola is introducing a new product in France and soon to be launched worldwide it’s called Coca-Cola Blak. This new drink is a coffee flavored drink that they are hoping will entice more people to stay away from the likes of starbucks or redbull for their daily dose of energy. I was wondering when this type of drink was gonna happen for Coke and it looks like it has. Apparently there aren’t enough of these drinks on the shelves yet. This will be a good drink for the poker players when the times are getting a little rough when you have spent countless hours indulging yourself in a Poker Party. Now, you can have a coke energy drink.

What if Condoms had Corporate Sponsors? Here is a list of possibilities:

Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flinstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a Rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use Dial? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey -- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
EverReady Condoms: Keeps going and going ...
Kentucky Fried Chicken Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
Nature Valley: The Candy Bar Nature Intended
Absolut Condoms: ABSOLUT BONER.
Pontiac Condoms: We build excitement
MicrosoftCondoms: Where do you want to go today?
Arch Deluxe Condoms: The condom with the grown up taste.
M&M's Condoms: Melts in your mouth not in your hands
VW Condoms: Drivers wanted
Basf Condoms: We don't make the condom, we make the condom moister.
GE Condoms: We bring good things to life.

A few more for ya:

BMW Condoms: The ultimate driving machine
AT&TCondoms: Reach out and touch someone
Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper
John Deere Condoms: Nothing runs like a deer
US Army: Be all you can be
Miller Condoms: It’s Miller Time
Wheaties Condoms: Breakfast of Champions
British Airways Condoms: The worlds Favourite Airline


~~

Have you ever thought about random sayings and wonder what the hell they mean or why do people say them. Here are a few that I always hear and they drive me nuts when I hear them.

When something is "new and improved," which is it? If it's new, then there has obviously never been anything before it and if it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. When you think about it how many times do you hear this saying yet you never think about its relevance. Is it really new and improved though? It can’t be there is no such thing!

When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Like seriously do people do this? It’s just crazy that we say things and we don’t even realize that if you actually thought about what you said how dumb some of the things are that come out of our mouths.

~~

That wraps up this blog and thanks for checkin it out. Until next time, keep it in the shortgrass and use the bonus code 20BR for party poker.

Poker Party in Niagara Falls; Mansionpoker.net backs a new poker reality series

First things first, it is Monday and I am definitely hurting after a long, long weekend. The crew got together on a little trip to Niagara Falls on Saturday and as per usual it turned into an all day all night giver affair. We set up shop at the poker tables and at the roulette tables for the majority of the night. We consumed enough beers on Saturday that should suffice me for the week. We pounded beers for close to thirteen hours. I didn’t feel it too bad on Sunday but today I am one tired puppies. The Niagara casino was pretty rammed and there was a pretty large sized wait to get in on any of the Poker Party action when we first arrived there. So, in the meantime we sat at the bar and watched my Duke Blue Devils annihilate the number two team in the country: The Texas Longhorns. It was an absolute drubbing. A couple of my buddies got called into action at the poker tables and as they headed in to the poker room I chilled at the bar and continued to pound back some beers and catch up on the sports action.

Through our wanderings through the casino we ran into a couple of cool chiefs at the tables. We met up with this one dude from Dallas and we had a great time chillin with this good ol boy. We were at the roulette tables where he and the cobster were runnin the show. Both cats were hitting there numbers and making some serious cake. We were having some fun at this table as the dealers were lovin’ the members of the crew. It was time for the Leafs game and the Raptors game so we proceeded to close up shop at the tables, and head to the bar to watch the games.

All in all, Niagara Falls was a pretty solid gong show, we started chants in the bars, chatted up some mysterious folks, chilled with a big time burnout from Port Perry in Denny's, and had a nice intellectual conversation with our cab driver home from Denny's. By the way, if you are ever starving at 3 or 3:30 in the morning and there is a Denny's around, you have to order the LumberJack Slam. Seriously it might be the biggest breakfast around and pretty close to impossible to finish. It was time to catch up on some much needed rest so we headed back to the hotel to call it a night. I was real gunned when my head hit the pillow. Sorry boys if the kid's drunken snoring kept you up!

~~

So the Indianapolis Colts are still going strong in their battle to equal the undefeated season of the 1972 Dolphins. I don’t know about you but these guys look absolutely unstoppable especially now with the defense that these guys have assembled. It should be interesting too see what the colts do now for the remainder of the season. Do you rest some of your big guns for the playoffs? Or do you play them to keep the undefeated record in tact? It should be a pretty good story line to watch unfold.

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Poker on television just keeps on introducing new programs and ideas to continue to further increase its popularity. The latest show to hit the airwaves is Mansionpoker.net Pokerdome series which will air on Fox Sports Net. The idea behind this show is the players on the show will be encased in one-way, mirrored glass with microphones located all over the place so that the fans seated around the dome can hear and see everything without being seen or heard. Another interesting feature to this show will be that all the cards will have computer chips on them so the fans will know what cards were discarded. Also the show will contain speed poker which gives the players fifteen seconds to act or they will automatically lose. This should be an interesting show to check out and it will begin airing in May of 2006. There is going to be a big brand awareness show airing on July 12th at an Australian Casino where six players will put up $10 million dollars apiece and the winner take all. I had to take a second look at this when I first saw it. Ten Million dollars a player and they already have three of the six players committed. They are not naming names but be prepared for some of the biggest names to be front and center when this show comes around.

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On a side note the kidinthehizy was you got it gettinbizzy at the tables on Friday night. It was a quick poker party but I was able to get the mojo back and I finished in third and first respectively in a couple of Sit n Go’s on party poker. Keep a look out for the kidinthehizy!

For all those that hate Monday’s keep your head up high and just think only four more days till next weekend. Again thanks for checking out the Kid’s blog (and this blog was brought to you by the bonus code 20BR on Party Poker) and hopefully this is the start of a good week for all of us a sign of good things to come.

Full Contact Poker Goes Live

Well, well, well Daniel Negreanu has made a big splash with his new online poker room at Full Contact Poker. It was just recently announced at a Poker Party in Toronto that he has added an online poker room on the website. This website was purely a forum driven website and now with the addition of an online poker room it makes this website that much better. The website has a classy design and more importantly it is very user friendly. The software for the online poker room looks pretty good and it is Poker Room software so for those that have played there before you will be quite comfortable with it. So what does all this mean for Negreanu and Full Contact Poker well basically he is going to make some additional money no doubt about it, but he is going to attract a lot of players I would presume from other websites as he has put together an unbelievable promotion.

The promotion that was announced and is the first of its kind by Full Contact Poker is becoming Daniel Negreanu's Protege. This is a great idea and one that I am going to assume is going to attract a ton of traffic and attention to his website. The winner of this promotion wins some tremendous gifts and awards. First off, you win four months of personal instruction from Daniel Negreanu. Secondly you will play in four major poker tournaments with a $10,000 buy-in. All of your travel and other expenses will be covered while you are at the tournament. How cool is that! Full Contact Poker will stake you in different cash games and limits to test your abilities on their site. This is great as it provides you the opportunity to improve your game at no cost. You will be able to communicate with Negreanu personally whenever you have any questions about your game. You will also be given a Luxury Watch with a value of $2,000 and it will be specially engraved, so that people know are Daniel Negreanu's protege. I can't forget to mention that there will be a closing party thrown in the winners honor in good ol Las Vegas. Finally, if the protege happens to win one of the four major tournaments that he/she enters they will earn an option to sign a contract with Poker Royalty; Poker's premier agency.

This is a significant prize package and for aspiring poker professionals this is something you don't want to miss. It's nice to see a professional offer up something like this, there are the fantasy camps and things that have been done before but this is top notch and it is going to take a lot for someone to top this promotion.

Poker Robots Invading Online Poker

After a couple of nights in a row of not making any money at the poker tables I took last night off and I thought I would just surf the internet and see if I could come up with something interesting for my next blog entry. I have been hearing about these online poker robots and how they could be taking over the online poker world from the everyday Joe. I had a couple of interesting reads on this subject and I'll definitely let you in on some of the information. To me as a frequent player on party poker this is not news that I like hearing as I am sitting there at the tables trying to earn money the conventional way and then there are guys out there using these robots to take money away from us. Sure if I wanted to I could pay for one of these but the reason I play online poker asides from winning money is to improve my game and I started playing online poker because of that reason. I had no idea that these poker robots were around when I started and it will really piss me off and kill my Poker Party buzz if I have lost key hands and my money to one of these robots.

What are poker robots? Well a poker robot simply plays online poker for the player by scanning casino poker software on your computer and this robot will play your hands for you. The process that this poker robot goes through is it runs through millions of scenarios that involve your particular hand, and the robot decides whether your hand is strong enough to call the bet or raise it. The robot does this based on the strength of your hand, your betting position, and the size of the pot and the number of players that are still contending your hand.

This is pretty scary stuff for those that are just looking to get some hands in and are playing for money that they really can’t afford to lose. I really don’t like the fact at all that these exist and I’m surprised that the sites have not found a way to completely eliminate these from play. Sure it would be tough but they have to find a way to make this a level playground for all players. With how much money nowadays is available on online poker it does not surprise me one bit that a lot of players are hopping on this bandwagon and the guys that created these are making a ton of money.

Will these poker robots eventually hurt the online poker industry? I think for sure it will if it continues to become public knowledge and the sites have not done anything about it. I mean they have ways to determine a robot but the programmers of these robots are so smart that they have so many ways to beat the system and these online poker companies had better find ways to get rid of them or else they are going to lose a lot of players. The beginners will for sure say see you later if this keeps going on. As soon as people learn that they are at a major disadvantage they will not spend money just to lose it.

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The main guy behind the poker robots is Ray E. Bornert II. He is the creator of WinHoldEm which is the number one poker robot on the market today. This guy is one smart cat no doubt about it and his logic behind designing the robot (besides making a shit load of money) was as he says "to create a level playing ground between the players and the owners of the sites." Here is an excerpt from one of the articles I found:

“Bots and bot-aided collusion were inevitable. Rather than seduce anyone into thinking such things didn't exist, Bornert had another notion: Put the power in the players' hands. By democratizing computer-assisted firepower, he'd make it part of the competition. "It's like football - if you don't wear a helmet and pads, you're going to get hurt," he says. "A poker bot is your equipment." And if that is considered unethical, then so be it. "I'd rather be unethical than be a victim," he says. "This is intentional civil disobedience."

So he is pretty much saying that he wants to make millions of dollars by selling these poker robots to players using the excuse that the companies are ripping off the players already. What he doesn’t take into consideration is the fact that these robots are taking money off legit players and he is forcing people to spend additional money on a product that should not be allowed. This is bullshit! He makes it sound so convincing but he is screwing a ton of people out of quite a bit of money and he doesn’t give a shit. This is not going to stop me from having my customary Poker Party but it definitely is going to make me more aware of what is going on at the tables. It makes you think about how many times when you play you lose crazy hands that you think there is no way that guy is going to call that and they do and then they hit their card on the river. Obviously you are at the mercy of the computer but if now you have to worry about poker robots as well, it’s going to change a lot of things. All I’m saying is be aware the next time you hit up the tables.

Whartz Up Wednesday's Poker Party Edition

A Poker Party it was not last night as I was playing party poker and I was definitely not feeling it. I typically play pretty tight when I am at the tables but for some reason last night I was playing a little loose and it definitely cost me. I did win a little bit of money but it was nowhere near what it should have been. A couple of times I lost some significant change on mysterious calls by my opponents but at the same time I was trying to bully some players into buying pots that I should have been out of and that cost me. I'm going to get back to playing the way I normally do and what has been successful.

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Well today is Wednesday and on this blog it means one thing: Whartz up Wednesdays! Today is absolutely freezing out and I am not enjoying it one bit. The best is when you have to heat your car up for like ten minutes before you hop in there so you don't freeze your canards off. So uncomfortable it is! I am real impatient when it comes to having to wait to go somewhere because it is cold outside. I hate the fucking cold if you haven't figured that out by now. Atleast there is snow here yet but man oh man its coming.

Last night also sucked for another couple of reasons, the goddamn Maple Leafs and the Raptors both lost. This was probably the reason for me not enjoying the poker party and just playing real loose poker.

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If you guys had read my earlier post about how big a fan I am of the comedian Russell Peters well I just saw a clip that I have never ever seen before and I absolutely pissed my pants in laughter. He has a knack for making fun of cultures and in this clip he was making fun of British folk. I swear to god it was so absolutely "smashing" lol! He is the Dog's Bollocks and you guys have to check him out when he is in your area. You will love it! He typically rips on his Indian culture, Italians, and Canadians and believe me it is hilarious to see him do all of these accents but this English skit was funny as hell.

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Alright with today's Whartz up Wednesdays I gathered two videos for your viewing.
The first video is a drunk guy attempting to cross the street on his bike and the second video is a spoof on the President of the United States, Mr. George W. Bush. They are both quite humurous and I'm sure you will enjoy them.

drunk cyclist video



president bush video



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You know what really drives me nuts is ignorance. In our office building we are set up next to this one company and I'm not gonna name names here but these people are so goddamn ignorant it kills me. Every day we see these people and they will not acknowledge us one bit. They are older than us granted but when you walk by somebody the polite gesture is to look at them and say hello to them. Right! So these guys namely one man the owner of the company will look at me and then put his head down in his chest and just walk on by without saying anything. Ya know what this drives me up the goddamn wall. I can't believe people are this ignorant or they have their head stuck so far up their own ass that they can't say hi to someone. Are you just rude or do you just hate your life. If its the ladder get over it and fucking deal with it. I am a friendly guy and by no means am I intimidating I was just brought up in a manner that makes me respectable of others. Obviously this guy has no goddamn manners whatsoever and he is a guy I am glad I am not. Wow, that was a bottled up rant I have been having for some time with this guy. It probably shouldn't bother me this much but when you see him every bloody day and he still has no class to even say one word to ya. That's plain rude and i hate rude people. Plain and Simple!

Alright thanks for checking out the Kid's Blog and I'll check ya Later.

Poker Party Ramblings

There is a lot of cool stuff happening in the poker world of late. Of course there are always big tournaments going on. But I am more intrigued by the happenings around the business. A lot of people are coming up with new ideas in order to make some money off of this game and to try and make a name for themselves.

The latest idea that is being bandied about is a new reality television show called “Win Mike Tyson’s House”. Dominic Marrocco the gentlemen that purchased Mike Tyson’s house is putting together an idea that people can win Mike Tyson’s house in a poker tournament. Here is his idea:

“To have a huge poker tournament, with hundreds of competitors playing to earn their spot at the six player final table. Four of the finalists will be the top finishers from the qualifying tournament. The fifth and six will be Marrocco and Tyson themselves, thus giving Tyson the chance to win his house back. The final table would be contested on the basketball court of the former Tyson estate, with the winner taking ownership of the entire property.”

This is a cool idea and it would definitely be an interesting watch. Could you imagine going heads up against Mike Tyson to win his old house. I mean, this would be an intimidating finale as you are looking straight into the eyes of one of the most intimidating figures in sports. Who knows he might take a little nibble out of the opponents’ ear or for that matter want to drop the gloves with you if you crack is pocket aces. All in all I like the sounds of this idea. It is definitely one of the better ideas I have heard of.

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Daniel Negreanu is in Toronto this week and he is throwing a party tonight at the
Hard Rock Café in Toronto. He has a big announcement that he is going to make tonight at the Poker Party. There are a lot of rumors floating around what it could be. There is talk that he has a new book coming out, that he is going to bring a WPT event in Toronto, he is going to help out with the Red Hot Poker Tour. We’ll have to wait and see what this announcement is and I’ll let you know tomorrow what the deal is.

~~

Joseph Hachem is looking into moving to the United States full time so that he can further elevate his status in the poker world. It is obviously hard for him to continue traveling from Australia to the States since that is where all the major tournaments are held. I would assume this is a tough decision for Hachem to make but money talks and he has more opportunities in America than he does in Australia. Especially since he has signed a couple of big time deals with PokerStars and William Morris Agency. We’ll see what happens. Either way he is going to be throwing one big Poker Party at his new pad once he settles down.

Poker Pro it might be the poker table of the future! Here is an excerpt from Cardplayer on the new style of poker tables:

“Once the player has a seat, he swipes his casino card in a slot to transfer money from the account to the table. When game play starts, his hole cards are displayed on the screen, and a flop is shown on a 40-inch LCD monitor that’s sunk in the middle of the table.Players bet, raise, call, and fold through the touchscreen. Money is shuffled among the players electronically. When it’s time to leave, the player logs out and the money is credited to his account. It’s kind of like Internet poker, but live.”

This format is starting to take form at casinos across America and they say they are becoming a big time hit with the players. I had heard of this before and I had mixed feelings on the idea at first. The only reason why I didn’t really like the idea is because it takes away the feeling of playing poker in the casino. But, I guess the main reason why players go to the casino is to win money and play a lot of hands. This new system will present the players an opportunity to get in an additional 50-60% as opposed to playing at a regular table. So you make the call on what you prefer!

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In other poker news the founder of Pacific Poker/888.com had a grenade thrown through his window of his home. There is talk that the grenade was thrown into his house because he is running for political office in Israel or is it because he is worth an astronomical amount of money with his ties in the casino business. It was stated that he and his brother have $250 million dollars of holdings in the biggest casino in the world. Its pretty scary times no doubt when people know you have a ton of money and they will do anything to get there hands on it. Which is absolute bullshit but people think in corrupt ways.

Alright that wraps up the latest poker news segment brought to you by the Poker Party engineer “The Kid”. You all have a nice winter day (as we have the nice warm weather here in the Tdot) and I’ll catch up wit ya later.

Saturday Nights Madness

My Saturday night was something that we had planned on making it a gong show and it definitely turned out that way. A bunch of us had tickets to go to the Motocross in Toronto and the event was getting underway at 7:00. We decided we would hit up a local establishment early and get the festivities under way. We were pounding beers for about an hour and a half when all hell broke loose.

We were outside and there was a couple of drunk assholes out there and they were talking mad shit to one of my buddies. My buddy really didn’t take too kindly to the comments that were being made towards him and he started firing some trash back at this guy. This guy had one thing on his mind and that was to start something. I knew it wasn’t going to be a good idea when my buddy stepped up to the guy as the guy was a monster. My buddy realized it wasn’t a good idea and he walked away to only hear another comment thrown in his direction. He said it’s not worth it and he’s going inside. He preceded to walk up seven steps and he looked back and the guy was walking up the steps and grabbed my buddy by the shirt collar and threw him down the stairs. Our buddy landed on his stomach with his beer glass in his hand and it wasn’t a good site. He got up and his one finger was broken and there was blood everywhere. Both his hands had significant cuts to them as the glass from the bottle went right through the palms of his hands and he was in serious trouble. We tried to get at the guy and to no avail we couldn’t grab him and he just immediately ran down the street and into the night. We had the cops called and the ambulance showed up.

What a mess, our buddy had to go into surgery that night and have four tendons repaired. Are you fucking kidding me? Like seriously what is wrong with people. My buddy was being the smart one and walked away and then he gets that shit happen to him. This guy was an absolute disgrace and we are doing everything possible to make sure this clown gets what he deserves. I just don’t understand people like this. You have absolutely no life where you get satisfaction out of acting like a first class idiot and then hurting people and you have to run away from it all. Don’t worry tough guy we got your information from your visa that you paid your bar tab with so eventually you are going to get what you deserve. Whether it is from the cops or not, you’re done.

After all this happened we were not in the mood to giver full on at the motocross and it definitely took a lot of steam out of all of us. We couldn’t believe what had happened and I wish there were more of us outside and the whole thing could have been prevented. These guys were monsters and there was nothing I could have done as I was stuck talking to loser’s buddy telling him to tell his buddy to shut the hell up when it all went down. The rest of our guys were inside at our table and by the time they all came out it was too late.

We ended up getting pretty gunned but it wasn’t the same atmosphere at all knowing what the hell just happened earlier in the night. It was a real disappointing evening that’s for sure and it left a bitter taste in my mouth knowing that there are so many goddamn idiots on the streets.

I spent my Sunday recovering from a long Saturday night (I’ll have a post on my Saturday night shortly). I was laying on my buddies couch watching football on one screen and poker on the other screen. I was watching Michael “The Grinder” Mizrachi. I instantly became a fan of this guys game. He has an intimidating presence at the tables and has a ton of skills. Also, he seems like a real solid guy as he had about fifteen or twenty of his buddies in the crowd and they were all thoroughly enjoying the Poker Party that was about to take place. This was an awesome tournament to watch as “The Grinder” Mizrachi was going heads up against Haralabos Voulgaris in a two hour marathon. This was a back and forth event and it became real tough to watch football with this classic battle going on.

There were some crazy all-in calls by Haralabos for sure, the last hand he went all-in with ten-three off-suit. He was probably trying to buy it, but the Grinder called him and took him down. This was an awesome battle and it turned our football Sunday into an all out Poker Party. This gave me the inspiration to play some poker myself so I went to party poker and played a few games. Unfortunately I did not play all that well and I was unable to make some cash. The fact that my head was still real groggy from the night before sure as hell didn’t help matters. I plan on getting back into action this week and I'm planning on playing in a couple of big events this week (we'll see what happens).

Why is it that every time I land pocket aces I lose the goddamn hand? Last night I had pocket aces and I raised pre-flop and i had two callers. The flop comes 2,6,8 rainbow so now i bet the pot. I have one caller (it took him a while to make the call). The turn card comes and its a king. The pot became pretty substantial now and I was running out of chips so I decided to move all-in. The other guy takes forever and uses up all his additional time and then decides to call me. We flip over our cards and he has J8 offsuit and he calls my all-in bet with a pair of eights. The river card comes and a fucking eight comes up for the set. Are you fucking kidding me. What a joke, so i'm out of the tourney because some idiot called my all-in bet with a pair of eights. I was raising the whole time, its like he knew something was up. I'm not hopping on the rigged factor but that was a goddamn joke. I was really pissed!

Freestyle Fridays

Oh here we go, its time for Freestyle Fridays and yours truly the kid is about to bring the pain in this post. I’m gonna give a couple of quick shout outs to other bloggers that I enjoy checkin’ out. Pauly from the Tao of Poker is a beast in the blogging scene and always has awesome stuff to read. Like me Big Al loves talking about booze and poker so if you are looking for a funny read you gotta check it out. If you are going to vegas or just want to read up on Vegas check out the Poker Prof's blog, awesome updates about the city of sin.

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TGIF! I’m lookin forward to the weekend and to the gong show that is gonna happen. There is a big time event that the crew is heading to on Saturday. They call it the Supercross and the main agenda for the day is to get shitfaced. The festivities get underway at seven o’clock but myself and five members of the crew will be hitting up one of the local establishments at around three o’clock to get it underway. Pretty much we’ll be shitfaced walking into the event and we’re gonna love it. I’m not a huge Supercross fan but when I heard that this event was an all out drinking affair I signed myself up. I’m sure I’ll have some beauties to tell you about this event. I just wish this event was the freestyle series! I’m sure the crowd at this event is gonna be quite the site. I would presume there will be a few rednecks in the crowd and they are always a good time to party with. I have had a few experiences in Alabama with the necks’. I’ll never forget my first night out on the town in Prattville, Alabama. There was a bunch of us that were going out and none of us were from the area (since we were down there playing on a golf tour) so we were asking where the hot spot was for Friday night. We were given the name of the bar and we were on our way. We roll up, five dudes deep and all we see is a goddamn bowling alley. Instantly we were like we are in the wrong place but we asked and they told us the bar was inside the bowling alley. Are fucking kidding me? The best bar in town is in a bowling alley. I had a feeling this was gonna be a long winter! Especially since I’m used to going out in Toronto where there are hundreds and hundreds of bars and clubs. Needless to say it was definitely an eye opener.

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Another poker site giving away a sick ride! Europoker is giving away the brand new Porsche Cayman S in a random draw. This is a great way for a new online poker room to attract players. I mean this car is absolutely sick and it is going to be one of the very first ones that is made available to the public. Obviously these guys are taking a page from the industry leaders: party poker. Partypoker has been tremendously successful with there giveaways and it looks as though these sites are hopping on the bandwagon.



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Confucious Says:


1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.
2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.
3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
5. Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly.
6. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day.
7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
8. Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone.
9. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
11. Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can't walk.
12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
14. Man with penis in peanut butter is Fucking nuts.
15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
18. Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.

I love random stuff!

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"Ah Not Sooo Much there bud"

I love these random photos of people and to think the dude actually thought he had a chance to compete. LOL. Could you imagine walking down the street and you see this guy checkin himself out I mean Jesus. I wish I was there I'm sure I'd have a wise crack to bust out on him. The poor guys self esteem probably went way down when he took a peek. haha.


"Comon little buddy put that thing away"

This photo is actually taken from my buddies window sill in Belfast. This Shepherd guy is a real character and he has been known to compare himself to this little guy. Shep maybe you could bring some of these home for the crew when you are on your way back to our part of the world. Go Belfast Giants! Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole!

Here is a great clip from the poker player Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. This guy is a nut bar and real cocky. He talks about some interesting things on this audio piece. He lays into Gus Hansen a little bit and continues to mention himself as one of the best two No Limit players in the world. There is also some Phil Hellmuth bashing. Matusow loves poker and he was talking about the Poker Party on Larry Flynt's private jet. Check it out.

Mike Matusow on NWP Radio

Click Here To Listen.

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Have you guys heard about the underwater heads up poker event going on. Are you kidding me? This is absolutely crazy and I tell you what I'd love to be one of these guys playing poker underwater. This is a tremendous idea. Here is an excerpt of the article:

"Juha Helppi and World Series of Poker champion Rob Varkonyi will don state-of-the-art scuba gear and take seats around a table siting at the bottom of the ocean. Players have been warned that during the tournament they may encounter distractions such as currents, tropical fish, and entangling seaweed that may break concentration and lead to tactical errors at the deep-sea table.
They’ll be using specially-made weighted chips and waterproof cards. The poker table is also weighted so it doesn’t drift away as the players ponder whether to call or raise.The tournament will last until only one player wins all the chips, or until the competition either inadvertently floats to the surface or runs out of air and is forced to leave the tournament."

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Whose throwing the Poker Party next week? If there's something going on let the kid know as I'm always looking to win some chipsy's.

Everyone have a solid weekend and don't Drink and Drive as the holidays are quickly approaching. Take er eesh!

The Kid is out!

Top Ten Thursdays

So it’s the first of December already and I’m not really that pleased to see this time of year approach. I really do not enjoy the winter one bit as I absolutely hate the fucking cold weather. Like when you have to leave your house all bundled up with so much stuff that you can barely move, that to me is a situation that needs to be avoided at all costs. When the hell is global warming gonna arrive? Like seriously are there really any benefits whatsoever to winter. The only thing I can think of is that it means its hockey season.

The worst thing about this bloody time of year is that when the snow hits, the roads are ridiculous. They are filled with idiots that don’t know how to drive and it takes an extra hour to get to your destination. For instance, last week I’m heading down to the big city to make a visit to a special someone;) and it normally takes me about thirty five minutes to get there and on this day it was the first snowfall and it took me two goddamn hours to get there. People were all over the road (I’m not gonna lie my car is not the greatest in the snow right now as the kid’s tires are shot) and I was getting a little paranoid of some of the Jabroni’s on the road. Guys were swerving all over the place, accidents everywhere. Really just slow down and be careful and the roads will be a much better place. Winter is pretty crazy here in the land they call the Great White North, but it's home and I love it!

With this being Top Ten Thursdays and the first of December I have decided that it is only appropriate to have the first Top Ten list dedicated to the things I dislike the most about winter. This week’s top ten list is being brought to you by the bonus code 25BR at the tables of Partypoker.


Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate Winter

10. “You spend most of the winter shoveling not only you’re driveway but your neighbors as well”

9. “I freeze my balls off”

8. “I can no longer chill on patios and get gunned outdoors” The Kid lives and dies by the patios.

7. “It takes me forever to get to my final destination because of all the people that forget how 2 drive when it snows”

6. “I have to shovel more driveways” Seriously, I fucking hate shoveling driveways

5. “I can no longer wear my go to tight T-shirts” "Parasuco" anyone?

4. “I have to listen to people from "New York" complaining about how cold it is in Toronto” I forgot that it doesn’t snow in NY and that it’s fucking summer all year long there. Act like you’ve been somewhere before! God! Idiot!

3. “I have to answer questions about living in an Igloo” I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked this goddamn question. Like Jesus H. Christ this drives me up the wall. I live in Canada, not fucking "Alaska". Get a Grip people!

2. “No more nectar cottage missions where you’re just rockin your bathing suits on the dock hangin with my crew, firing up steaks on the bbq, drinking mad beers, and chatting to the fine ladies” Hey Phril! Get ready to defend our team tubing titles next summer bud! I’ll throw a shout out to my bud Phril the other half of T2. Johnny M gets a shout out for being the other half of the Bash Brothers.

And the number one reason why I hate the goddamn winter:

“It’s fucking freezing”


In a nutshell that’s why I hate winter. There are some things that makes winter a good time for me but for the most part I don’t like it. I’m sure I’ll be chillin in front of the fireplace a lot this winter trying to stay warm with a nice cup of hot chocolate (maybe some alcohol in that bad boy), a nice fine lady by my side (what's up Alex) and at times the laptop will be busted out for my daily dose of a Poker Party.

Thanks to everyone for checking this out!

The Kid’s gotta go and freeze his ballz off!